Mr Woznotiz

Now I know you’re sitting there right this moment wracking your brains thinking to yourself: “Just where can I buy an audiobook for 4 to 7 year olds about imaginary friends, fitting in and the power of imagination?”

Well my friends look no further, simply click on this link and you’ll be spirited over to the iTunes store where you can purchase your very own copy of my latest work Mr Woznotiz.

As I know you’re itching to know more about the audiobook here’s the blurb:


by Jasper Bark

An imaginative tale for 4 to 7 year olds.

Come and meet Nelson and Mr Woznotiz. Nelson had just moved to this country when he met Mr Woznotiz, the wildest, wackiest imaginary friend anyone has ever had. He was a little scared and lonely but Mr Woznotiz fixed all that. However when Nelson wants to make real friends Mr Woznotiz starts to get in the way. Then Nelson meets Marjane a clever little girl with a really imaginative way to solve his problem.

Mr Woznotiz is a powerful and enchanting story about growing up, fitting in and the power of imagination. Told entirely in rhyme and performed by the author and a group of young performers this highly entertaining tale is as fun as it is thought provoking.”

If you like the book and want to leave a review I will be eternally in your debt. In fact if you do leave a review, please drop me a line and I’ll send you an exclusive gift to say thanks.

Now have you ever had a better offer than that …?

Alien Ink

Artwork by David Bircham

Those you you who haven’t yet jumped on board Alien Ink, Channel 4’s first ground breaking on-line comic for young adults, really ought to do so right now. Particularly if you’re into programmes like Skins and Misfits.

It’s the story of a group of teenagers from trendy Camden town who hang out at tattoo parlour run by two gorgeous, but mysterious aliens called Trinity and Ryder – the rather delectable couple standing on the disembodied chunk of floor in the picture above.

It’s written by me and Esther Bircham and drawn by the amazingly talented David Bircham.

The latest two episodes are a really great place to for new readers jump on and can be seen at the Pressure Comics site

Don’t delay ! Click on that link right now. You won’t be sorry! Have I ever let you down before?

All the Right Mass Movements

I have been silent of late but now, thanks to a huge infusion of virgin’s blood I have returned and I bring gifts. A free issue of the exceptional Mass Movement Magazine. Not only does it include some excellent articles and a free Nuclear Blast EP it also contains a sordid confession from me on page 105.

I promise you cannot afford to live the rest of your life without letting it gently download onto your hard drive. Simply head on over here and the dreadful deed will be done.

Tell them I sent you and watch their mocking sneers of derision.

Dark Deeds, Dark Words, Dark Markets

I recently had the good fortune to be interviewed by silver scream queen and inveterate blogger Lorna D Keach. The resulting conversation can be found here:

Please go and check it out, Dark Markets is an excellent site and I promise it will be worth your while.

If you have a few moments I’d also recommend Lorna’s blog ‘Sex Scenes with Monsters’ which is good for more than a few giggles. Cheap thrills to be had right here:

Now quick, go and click through. It will make your life happier and more fulfilled, honestly. Hey, you can trust your uncle Jasp right?

Reanimated Conversation

I had the extreme pleasure of being grilled by the highly talented horror author Joseph De Lacey recently.

You can see the results of our intense mental struggle over at the Horror Reanimated website here:

I had a lot of fun doing this interview. Please do go and check it out and while you’re there have a look at some of the other features. It’s one of my favourite websites on this topic and well worth a browse.


If you are among the million or so people who can’t possibly conceive how they once coped without an i-pad. Or one of the even larger horde of proud i-phone owners then there is something I would like to bring to your attention.

It’s an app that I’ve written that may be of great use to anyone who finds themselves in charge of small children who need entertaining. Stuck on a crowded train with a hyperactive child? Has a small person just asked an embarrassing question in a very public place? About to commit infanticide if someone asks you ‘are we nearly there yet?’ just once more?

Dont worry – there’s an app for that!

And here it is – meet the Recyclies:

art by Matthew Meadows

Check Me Out ...

I wrote a guest blog about Zombies, the credit crunch and my new novel on the FP blog recently. Thanks to Joe Gordon for that.

You can read it here

I would also urge you to download the latest issue of Mass Movement Magazine. Not only does it have an in depth interview with me, courtesy of the highly talented Jim Dodge Jnr, it is also a fantastic read put together by an excellent bunch of talented and dedicated people.

You can find it here

I would consider it a personal favour if you would head on over and check these out.